17 May 2013

Flat-Out Friday: Perseverance!

Perseverance (noun)
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2. Theology: continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.  
(Latin) persevērāre - to persist, derivative of persevērus - very strict

The last few days I've been going over and over this word in my head. It's the regimental motto of Lord Strathcona's Horse (Royal Canadians), and one that Matt uses with pride. (He has taken to pronouncing it "per-severance" just for the laughs, however.) It's something you find in all comic books - indeed, it's one of the defining features of both a superhero and a supervillian. It's a synonym of words like tenacity and persistence. But what I really like about it is that it not only suggests a certain stick-to-it-tiveness, but that it also indicates a deep-seated faith that everything will turn out all right.

My OT made this for me while I was in the hospital undergoing rehab - apparently he thought I was a superhero too!
I like this word. I like it because it sounds much better than stubbornness, which is what I routinely suggest has gotten me through most of the aftermath of this accident. As someone rather high-handedly once said to my husband, "Stubbornness is a COA" (that's a "Course Of Action" for all you civilians out there). It has been for me. And it will continue to be. There are days when I just wake up, look at the ceiling and think, "Again? I have to do this again?" but I always get that voice, that nagging voice, telling me to get my sorry ass out of bed and get a move on. Some days it sounds like my mother. Some days it sounds like every single bully that ever picked on me in school. Most of the time, though, it sounds just like me, with a big Darth Vader-esque sigh attached, telling myself that I can do it, I have done it, and I will continue to do it each time it comes up again.

But "perseverance" is sexy; way sexier than a word associated with mules. It sounds like something all those heroines from the feel-good movies I like so much would say: "It's called 'perseverance', darling. I put some in my tea every morning." Or as the rough and tumble ones would spit out with their teeth and blood: "Perseverance, girl. It has the word 'sever' in it for a reason." I totally wish I was that cool - like a roller derby girl*.

I have faith everything will turn out all right. Sometimes I just forget it. I know that no matter what, we will get through whatever gets thrown at us. We have made it through a bone-crushingly terrible ordeal, for goodness sake, so I know we can make it through the aftermath. Know why? Because Matt and I have perseverance, and we are not afraid to use it.

*Before the accident I had every intention of joining the local roller derby team. Matt was planning to get me skates for my birthday and everything. I even had my name picked out: Steamy Nix. Yeah, I was totally gonna be badass. I'm still badass, just in a completely different way.


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